A Guide To Self-Pleasure

Masturbation or self-lovin’ is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and our partners (by this I mean, letting someone watch you touch yourself can be incredibly sexy) and of course, getting to know yourself is beneficial for all involved.

The benefits of masturbation are a-plenty; however not enough people are ‘hands-on’ when it comes to embracing masturbation as a tool for greater wellbeing, better sex and more connected intimate relationships.

Let’s reiterate the benefits of masturbation:

Masturbation allows us to understand our capabilities sexually, it allows us to explore what we like, what turns us on and what gets us off. This is important to explore on your own because sexuality is as individual as a fingerprint and therefore it is up to the individual to understand their sexuality before anyone else can. Simply, your body is yours and in similar vein to having your own thoughts you also have your own individual path of stimulation and arousal. 

  • Masturbation teaches us how to be intimate with ourselves, so we can be intimate with others.
  • Masturbation teaches us to explore and be curious, which teaches us to live more enriched, fulfilling and purposeful lives.
  • To masturbate with someone else, or for someone else is a highly vulnerable and intimate act. Get doing it! And be open to embracing someone else masturbating with you or for you, it’s hot.
  • Masturbation has many health benefits and increases overall wellbeing.
  • Blocks can come up, this is a natural part of meeting and getting to know ourselves. If you feel like you need to talk to someone you can make an appointment with a sexologist, or keep reading. Awareness that you feel blocked or have an emotional response is the first parting of letting it flow.

My tips to help you get your masturbate on:

  • Make sure your room is looking at its best, whatever that means to you. Set up the space so it’s sexy and inviting. Treat it the same for yourself as you would for some sexy lover.
  • If you are not feeling in the mood, get reading something sexy.
  • Reading is a good way to stimulate the sexy-mind.
  • Ensure privacy – or don’t! Some people may like the idea of being ‘caught’ pleasing themselves and of course, this is okay.
  • If you find it hard to use your hands get yourself a sex toy, if you need help picking a suitable toy please feel free to email us for expert advice.
  • Be patient with yourself, give yourself some time to get in the mood and work it. Try to release the goal-orientated headspace; this will be useful for partner sex also.
  • Sometimes you just need a massage! Masturbation can be a great way to get to know your vulva, shift stagnate energy, move through tension and get the blood flowing to this area. This is all masturbation has to be, like a massage, except for your pussy or your genitals. You can also do the same internally. If you want to use a toy I recommend something that doesn't vibrate, just to bring awareness to different parts of your vagina, where feels good, where needs some extra loving.
  • Remember to breath. Now take a breath, reading this, here.
  • Don’t be afraid of movement; this is your time, your space and your body, get down with it! Do all of those things you might be self-conscious of doing when you are with someone else. Now is your time to explore.

With Pleasure, so much pleasure,

Vanessa