Every cisgendered woman* is different, beautiful and likes different things - you must adapt to what your partner enjoys. The tips in this article are some of our sexy tips that have made many women have a really good time. It is important to remember though that these tips are not a one size fits all. Some women may like it fast, some slow, some, slow then fast, some may like it slow... but only on a Tuesday... get it? Take time getting to know your woman.
Get cosy & comfortable - OH & S is still relevant in sexy times. A pillow or two under her hips can save a stiff neck for you. You can also position yourself on a pillow on the floor and have her hang her legs over the end of the bed. A good position will allow for better access to her vulva. Make sure the room is warm enough to be naked. If she’s cold it will take twice as long to get her warm, and she may spend most of the time worrying about how cold she is.
Love and worship the yoni/pussy/vulva - that you are going down on (yoni means vagina inclusive too of your vulva, in Sanskrit). The woman receiving the oral sex, will be able to tell whether you are into it or not. The greatest gift you can give to a woman is presence. Remember when you are going down on her, this is all about her, not you and your performance!
Eat it like you love it - in saying that I mean enjoy it and savour it like it’s the last melting spoonful of your favourite ice cream. Do not devour it like it’s that last bit of crackling on a share plate and if you don’t shove it in your mouth as quickly as possible your friend will steal it… Speaking of, here is my next point…
Take your time - don’t rush straight to clitoris or even vulva, let go of the idea of goal orientated sex, that you want to make her orgasm as quickly as possible. Many women enjoy having their lower stomachs, inner thighs, waists, breasts and around the breasts kissed, hip bones grabbed, or stroked softly, etc. The body is your oyster to discover. Tease them before you make your way down! Between kisses and strokes around the rest of the body, brush her mound or vulva. Doing this will let her know that you haven’t forgotten or that you are getting there! Tease even around the vulva, lick a little bit on the labia majora, blow softly before you start to softly lick… just work it and work it really slowly. If you struggle taking your time, it will likely be half-hearted and maybe not even worth your while. So get back to enjoying it and no doubt she will too.
Tongue technique - There are many types of tongue! You can make it flat, pointy, strong, soft and sensual. Use different strokes at different times! In general, often start slow and soft and then build up. Wet is good, (yes, use your salvia, it helps). You can even come at this tongue movement from the side (like your kissing a mouth) it can be easier to get all up in there if your head is tilted. Keep steady rhythm with your licks for a few minutes at a time. You can also use tongue to write the alphabet over and around the clit, drawing the, a, b, c, etc. just for something different. You can also just kiss the vulva like you would a mouth. And don’t forget that you can take big long licks slowly from the base of the vulva all the way up to the clitoris, where you can take a few smaller licks.
Use your hands - while you’re using your mouth! Work your hands over her body, lightly, or grab her where she likes to be grabbed. Sometimes even grabbing her hips (again, like you love them, or perhaps you do just love them!). Which will bring the attention to that area. Moving your hands around her breasts, nipples and her heart, up and down her body will bring energy and wild connection; this is a tantric technique and is great for generating heat and movement in the body.
Frame work - you can also use your hands, particularly your thumbs to massage up the labia majora, this will get the blood flowing to the area and trust me will feel really great. Stroke up with your thumbs while holding her clit in your mouth (pause your licking while stroking) and wait while the blood flows in. The nerve endings in the labia will go wild.
Don’t forget to use your fingers (after some time) to go inside her and stimulate her g-spot. Don’t do this right away at all, wait till she is sufficiently turned on and enjoying herself. Once you’ve decided it’s time - tease around the opening of her vagina before entering slowly. Head straight for her g-spot (up toward her belly bottom and closer to where your head is. It is the front wall of the vagina), it will feel a bit ribbed like the roof of your mouth. Massage slowly there! Another hand technique is similar to that of a cork screw -enter the two fingers together, then slowly withdraw them while twisting the fingers together as one unit like they’re a corkscrew! Remember to experiment, push your fingers down (opposite to g-spot) and drag them out - some women find this just as stimulating. Or you could use a g-spot toy here, a dildo or a vibrator.
Follow these tips, be present, make sure she feels good and importantly, enjoy yourself and she’ll be singing your praises in no time.
*When we say cisgendered women/woman in this article we're referring to women who are born with pussies and identify with them. We honour that 'women' is a broad term and inclusive of those who also identify with womanhood, regardless of genitalia.